The Ultimate Path to Health Isn’t a Pill, It’s Behavioral Change.
Learn why genuine transformation only happens when we want it, believe in it, and feel it’s necessary.
Achieving your health goals largely depends on your behaviour and actions.
Most of us know what we need to do.
The problem is, we don’t do those things.
Even when we do change our behaviours, we often don’t understand why we did so.
Living longer and having a higher quality of life is largely determined by one's actions and decisions throughout life.
For example, high levels of exercise are linked to living a longer life.
We all know this, but only some follow through.
Why only some?
And what separates those who make positive health changes from those who do not make the change?
The holy grail of health is not a medicine or supplement.
It is behaviour change.
So, what are the big factors that influence behaviour change?
The answer is complex and hotly debated, but in my experience, three key factors are at play.
They are not the only factors, but in my own journey and my patients' journeys, these three factors have made a huge difference.
These three factors are:
People do things because…. they want to.
People only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.
People only change when they truly believe that change is possible.
Let’s look at each of these in detail.
People Do Things Because They Want To.
This might seem simplistic, but in my experience, it is incredibly important to understand.
Think of anything you have done in life.
Have you ever not wanted to do it?
I am guessing the answer is no.
Even if someone put a gun to your head, you still acted because you wanted to.
You wanted not to have the consequences of that gun going off.
In general, however, most of the situations we face are a little less obvious. Think of the scenario of eating a doughnut when you know that you shouldn’t.
You now have two wants.
The ‘Want’ to enjoy the taste of the doughnut.
The ‘Want’ of not gaining weight.
One of these wants is:
Likley to become real immediately, the other will happen over a long time frame.
One is ‘very likely’ to come true, the other ‘might’ come true.
One takes very little effort. The other takes a lot of effort.
One will result in immediate pleasure. The other will have a delayed onset of pleasure.
This is why most people (myself included) will usually choose the option that will result in immediate pleasure, with a high degree of confidence, in a very short time and requires very little effort.
Ergo, we chose the doughnut.
Again, this example is relatively simple but highlights four key aspects of how we choose between multiple wants.
I find it impossible to think of anything I have done in life that I did not want to do.
Often, the real thing I wanted was unclear, but with time and some introspection, my real ‘wants’ at the time have become apparent.
When I was very burned out at the later end of my training as a doctor, I would like to say that I did so because of various external factors, but the passage of time has painted a different story.
The real reason I burned out was because I ‘Wanted To’.
I ‘wanted to’ burn out because it was the only acceptable path for me to leave my training after investing 20 years up to that point.
I needed a legitimate reason to leave, and burning out was what I chose.
In retrospect, it was because I wanted to do something else and burning out was a convenient way to choose that path without losing face.
People experience burnout for many reasons, but for me personally…. it was because I wanted to.
When I think back over every decision in my life, I chose the path I wanted to.
On many of those occasions, I was not aware of my real motivations, but they were there.
This is why I try to examine my motivations far more carefully now when I make decisions, but ultimately, I choose things because… I want to.
Sometimes, our ‘wants’ are unclear, but our actions make them clear.
As Carl Jung says, “You are what you do, not what you say you will do.”
Our actions mirror our real wants. Our speech… is a little bit less reliable.
Because inevitably…. we only ever do…. what we want to do.
People Only Change When The Pain Of Staying The Same Is Greater Than The Pain Of Changing.
We make decisions in life largely based on the balance of pleasure and pain.
But pain is the bigger motivator.
We choose to do things when we know it will avoid pain.
We are pain-avoidance creatures.
Need to pay your car insurance?
Sure. You could pay for it three months in advance. But what good would that do you?
How about when the deadline is tomorrow? Think of the pain of dealing with a car crash without insurance.
That sounds pretty painful, and because of that, we want to avoid that pain, so we take on the smaller pain of renewing our car insurance.
The pain of staying the same just exceeded the pain of doing something.
It's the same story why you do your assignment the night before it’s due.
It’s all about pain avoidance.
Partway through my training, I was trying to decide whether to continue in Ireland or transition to the US earlier than most usually do.
I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about staying, but leaving at that specific time in my training also came with a LOT of potential problems.
At the time, I was working in a hospital in the Northwest of Ireland.
It was insanely busy.
Ireland had just experienced a financial implosion.
Things were pretty bleak.
But I stayed.
Until one day when I almost drowned while surfing.
I remember thinking I was going to drown and that the very first thing that came into my mind when I took my first breath when I got above the water was…
“If I died. My boss would kill me.”
There and then, standing in the surf break of the cold Atlantic, I decided to leave my training early and move to the US.
It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.
But when I reflect on this event, I may not have made that decision if my life had not reached such a level of pain.
A pain that was sufficient enough to prompt me to decide.
The pain of staying the same had exceeded the pain of changing.
These days, I try not to wait for such dramatic events to assist my decision-making.
What I try to do is realise that both paths are linked to pain, and rather than making the future state more desirable, I try to focus on seeing that my current state will only increase in pain if I do not act.
We are pain-avoidance creatures more than pleasure-seeking creatures.
Understanding this fact has helped me tremendously.
People Only Change When They Truly Believe That Change Is Possible.
There are many things in life that we ‘want to do’.
There are many pains that we ‘want to avoid’.
And yet, we still don’t act.
For me, it comes down to whether you believe that what you are trying to do is really possible.
This has been the missing link for me.
Becuase when we think about doing anything in life there are no guarantees we will be successful.
That is why believing, deep down, that it IS possible is crucial.
To act without belief is delusional.
This is why I think practices such as visualisation and manifestation have gained so much popularity over the years.
Just to clarify.
I think ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne is pure nonsense, but these techniques do give people the belief that something might be possible.
With that belief of ‘possibility’, people can act with a higher degree of conviction.
Again, no one is guaranteed an outcome, but in my experience, if you are going to act, you might as well act with conviction.
The science behind visualisation and manifestation and how it influences specific brain networks, including the default mode network, attention network, salience network and central executive network, is real.
But….. But….
It relies 100% on the actions that are ultimately taken, not on the world giving you something just because you thought about it.
Where I have seen this play out in my life has been in the role of mentors I have had over the years.
Mentors have played an enormous part in my success, but when I reflect on why they have been so important, I have realised something very important.
Most of all, my mentors instilled in me a belief that I could do something far beyond what I thought was possible.
Sure, they did other things along the way, but most of all, they gave me the belief that I could achieve something.
We do things only when we believe we can.
The key is finding ways to ‘Believe’ with enough conviction to get you to the next step.
Because the next step provides information that what you are doing is working, and that positive feedback makes you ‘Believe’ even more that you can do what you set out to do.
Three Key Factors Of Behaviour Change.
Behaviour change is hard.
I do not claim to be an expert by any means, but three things have made a big difference in my life and the lives of my patients.
People do things because…. they want to.
People only change when the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of changing.
People only change when they truly believe that change is possible.
Understanding how these three factors have influenced my life has transformed how I think about my behaviour change journey.
Ask yourself:
What do you really want?
What pain are you really avoiding?
Do you really believe what you want is possible?
When You Are Ready, Here Is How We Can Help.
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Great post! Have you read the recent books about free will? Sapolsky just came out with one. I like the one by Sam Harris. Do you think free will exists? How does that fit into your argument?
Amazing !