What I Learned From Burning Out At The Peak Of My Career
Burnout is your minds way of telling you that you are off course.
After 20 years of training, I was at the pinnacle of my career.
At one of the most prestigious medical institutions on the planet.
But I was in the wrong place
I was miserable
And I knew something had to change.
I had worked like crazy to get to this point.
I had sacrificed:
Family Events
Relationships
Hobbies
Friends
Even my health
To get to the peak of my career.
But I was burnt out and didn't know what to do.
I was doing something that very few people ever get to do in a world-famous hospital in New York City.
Working with the absolute superstars of my field.
But I just knew I was in the wrong place.
And I needed a way out.
In the weeks leading up to this, two colleagues in the city had taken their own lives.
Was I not up to the challenge?
Was the work too much?
Had things changed?
What else could I do?
So I walked away.
Everyone thought I was crazy.
Maybe they were right.
But I knew it was the right thing to do.
I spent the next 3 years learning everything I could about burnout.
I talked to every expert in the field.
I launched a podcast when podcasts weren't even a thing.
1 million people downloaded it.
So, what did I learn?
The technical definition of Burnout involves ranking high on 3 factors:
Depersonalisation - I don't care about people anymore.
Lack Of Efficacy - I'm not making a difference.
Emotional Exhaustion - No energy - Physical/Emotional/Spiritual.
Some factors are more important than others for each person.
But the definition that resonated the most with me was:
"If your first thought in the morning when you get to work is that you just want to get home.
And you feel that each & everyone person you meet is in your way?"
Then you are burned out.
I called it the 'Front Door Test'
Sure, you can have bad days.
But if you get that feeling every day?
Then, you need to start asking some questions.
But what causes burnout?
The research says a combination of 6 things:
Absence of Fairness
Insufficient Rewards
Loss of Community
Conflicts of Value
Excess Workload
Loss of Control
These were issues for me.
But it wasn't just these.
This all happened 10 years ago, and I have learned a lot since then.
Sure, I was burned out.
And all those issues were relevant to me.
And are super important for others who feel burned out.
But I have learned for me it was something different.
For me..... I WANTED to burn out.
Burning out was the only acceptable option I felt I had to walk away from 20 years of training.
It was the only way I could justify making such a radical move.
To myself and to others.
Of course, all the factors I described above were at play.
But most of all, I wanted a way to leave EVERYTHING I had worked for.
And feel justified doing it.
I burned out...
Because it was my only acceptable way of leaving.
I spent years looking for a 'Cause'.
But the real cause was because I wanted to.
In truth, the path I had chosen was not the most authentic expression of who I was.
It wasn't my environment.
It was me being in the wrong place.
For others, their work environment absolutely matters.
Which is why they chose to persist.
But for me, I was not on a path that would lead to 'who I really was' and ‘who I should become’.
Today, I am just as busy as I was back then.
Dealing with lots of the same issues as I was before.
But the difference is I am working in a way that is an authentic expression of who I am.
The problem wasn't my job.
It was me.
Being in the wrong job.
So, if you are burned out.
And you are frustrated with your job.
It is likely down to the factors I described above.
But always ask yourself whether, in truth if you are just on the wrong path.
And you just don't realise it.
I did not have enough courage to leave my job ten years ago until I was well and truly burned out.
It was my mind's way of telling me I was WAY off course.
And forced me to make a choice.
Thankfully a positive one.
So rather than getting frustrated with your job.
Ask yourself whether you are just looking for the courage to change.
Because I know for some of you reading this, burnout is simply your mind's way of telling you:
That you need to change.
The question is whether you will have the courage to become the most authentic version of who you are.
It took a long time and a lot of pain for me to make the change.
It was terrifying.
But I promise you it is worth it.
Some Housekeeping
We are about 2 weeks away from the release of my book, Heart. An Owner’s Guide.
For those of you in the UK and Ireland, it will be available on May 2nd, and for those of you in the US, May 7th.
It is available to pre-order right now and to my amazement and gratitude, hundreds of you already have preordered it.
So Thank You!
The book is a tactical guide to understanding and reducing your risk of heart disease condensed into two-page spreads on each topic.
If you want to preorder the book you can by clicking here or on the image below.
Heartfelt thanks Paddy, a generous share.
At 68 my temperament is one of not sweating the small stuff, simultaneously acknowledging most of not all of it is small stuff. Alas though, it wasn't always that way.
Marriage break-up, addiction recovery and career change came in my 40's. Back then I didn't realise, like you, that I was creating unconsciously that which I wanted.
I am grateful for my life and grateful for the intimacy (into - me - see) contained in your share today.
For me, that is the best article you have shared- thank you. Book ordered and looking forward to reading how to not burn out the heart