A very brave post with much to consider. However, there is a large population of people who don’t have the luxury of thinking about how they may live their best lives when they are just trying to keep their heads above water, working days and perhaps going to school at night in order to hopefully make a better future for themselves and their families. Some, like a former stepson of mine, may find his life changed from that of a successful pilot and triathlete, to someone battling MS at the tender age of 40, with three small boys to co-parent and support with his wife, but who has had his livelihood taken away from him until he can find something else. He was definitely living the life he loved until then. During my working life, I didn’t have the luxury of thinking about if it was what I wanted to do or if my work suited who I was. It was more important to make as much money as I could so that I could provide for my family and put some money aside for my old age. I honestly didn’t have time to consider what my best life might be going forward until I retired, and only then because I had saved money for retirement and then married the man whom I lived with for 10 years, who had really saved money for retirement. We both came from what one would have called lower middle class families, with alcoholic fathers. That impacted our desire to rise out of that life and we worked hard and got educations over time (27 years for me). We have a comfortable retirement and unless the world implodes (always a possibility) should have enough money (and insurance) to assure the best possible life and end of life going forward. Do I think about what I have contributed to life thus far? Yes. I live in an area of high achieving wealthy retirees and believe me, if one considers having had a life of high achievements by their measure, I missed the mark considerably. It can be very humbling to have lived a rather ordinary life. But I hope that I have been a kind person, a good wife, mother and friend, to have given a wonderful home to too many pets to name, to have donated what I’ve been able to afford to good causes. I have experienced joy in my life as well as tribulation. My great aunts told me once that when one reaches a certain age, all one can hope is to be neat and clean. This was advice about how one loses one’s looks after a certain time, and certainly, I’ve experienced that. I think for me, at the age I have reached (in my early 70s) and going forward, all I can do with certainty to live my best life, is to continue being a decent person, a kind person, and to be neat and clean
Wow. Great, really thought provoking piece. I suspect I need to read this a few times to try to fully grasp it, but thank you once again for getting us out of our comfort zones and getting us to think about the really important stuff.
I've reading about this stuff for over 20 years and feel I am almost starting to get a grasp of being at the start... I think it's a process but thats the fun part.
Thank you for this article, and for all your posts. I find it interesting you and I have reached a similar conclusion through what appears to be very different pathways. Best wishes to you and yours.
During my working years, there was never enough time to read, though I probably read more than others. When I wrote down retirement goals, reading was at the top. Now I am retired, and it’s the same. I spend much more time reading, my chiefest joy (other than my adult son). But it’s still not enough time. So many books, so little time. As I look into the future
I do see writing as a potential sideshow.
Thanks for a clear reminder of the importance of becoming.
The reading issue is real. There will never be enough time. I used to always stick a book out until the end but not any more. There are just too many good books and not enough time.
I'm not exactly sure what i'm doing with my life. I do know that I love exercise. I love treadmill sprinting and I wish everyone would do it. Since I know most will not, I want to look into something else. It's heartbreaking to see dads in their forties dying from heart disease. So i'm looking into advanced pacemakers or some new device. A new device that is like a "Neuralink" for the heart. Something that mimics the effects of exercise. My view is that we should supercharge average people, so that heart disease is a thing of the past. Maybe we don't always have to fix people when they are broken. Why not start way sooner? Moderate-risk people. Take the average "moderate-risk" person and turn their heart/lungs into that of an elite endurance athlete. Maybe it sounds science fiction, but why not try? We all know Neuralink is coming. Why not do something for the cardio and respiratory systems?
I think we can make a huge difference even within the constraints of our current technologies. No doubt the future will hold amazing potential but we have some much room for improvement even now. Exciting times.
Thank you for this article Paddy. I have been on this journey for a few years now and truly believe that it is a universal and core aspect of health and wellbeing.
The medical world needs to appreciate this more and find a way, with wider society, to bring this into public discourse. One of the founders of modern medicine, Rudolf Virchow himself said “medicine is a social science, and politics nothing but medicine at a larger scale”. I believe that he meant healthcare needs to look beyond the walls of our clinics and wards, to take into account the wider issues that we all face on our individual and existential journeys through life.
I am glad you found it useful. I would be cautious is putting this task in the hands of healthcare. Healthcare is amazing at the science of treating diseases but the task of your purpose and meaning is something we must all navigate with lots of different resources. Healthcare is great at the lifespan and healthspan piece. Soulspan, purpose and meaning I think have their answers elsewhere. Just my thoughts.
Thanks Paddy, I definitely agree that healthcare settings are not the place to bring these discussions directly to patients, although they can sometimes emerge to a degree in cases of end-of-life or complex care. Such discussions require sensitivity, skill, and time.
There are some potential areas for development however such as social prescribing, knowledge around health behaviour and the teaching of health ethics. In addition measures of societal health tend to focus on financial parameters and public discourse around wellbeing usually follows this. It was interesting for me to observe the widespread but transient period of 'soul searching' that was triggered by the onset of the covid pandemic.
I'm probably starting to move off-topic here so I'll leave it at that. Just to say many thanks again for your brilliant articles which are always thought-provoking.
A very brave post with much to consider. However, there is a large population of people who don’t have the luxury of thinking about how they may live their best lives when they are just trying to keep their heads above water, working days and perhaps going to school at night in order to hopefully make a better future for themselves and their families. Some, like a former stepson of mine, may find his life changed from that of a successful pilot and triathlete, to someone battling MS at the tender age of 40, with three small boys to co-parent and support with his wife, but who has had his livelihood taken away from him until he can find something else. He was definitely living the life he loved until then. During my working life, I didn’t have the luxury of thinking about if it was what I wanted to do or if my work suited who I was. It was more important to make as much money as I could so that I could provide for my family and put some money aside for my old age. I honestly didn’t have time to consider what my best life might be going forward until I retired, and only then because I had saved money for retirement and then married the man whom I lived with for 10 years, who had really saved money for retirement. We both came from what one would have called lower middle class families, with alcoholic fathers. That impacted our desire to rise out of that life and we worked hard and got educations over time (27 years for me). We have a comfortable retirement and unless the world implodes (always a possibility) should have enough money (and insurance) to assure the best possible life and end of life going forward. Do I think about what I have contributed to life thus far? Yes. I live in an area of high achieving wealthy retirees and believe me, if one considers having had a life of high achievements by their measure, I missed the mark considerably. It can be very humbling to have lived a rather ordinary life. But I hope that I have been a kind person, a good wife, mother and friend, to have given a wonderful home to too many pets to name, to have donated what I’ve been able to afford to good causes. I have experienced joy in my life as well as tribulation. My great aunts told me once that when one reaches a certain age, all one can hope is to be neat and clean. This was advice about how one loses one’s looks after a certain time, and certainly, I’ve experienced that. I think for me, at the age I have reached (in my early 70s) and going forward, all I can do with certainty to live my best life, is to continue being a decent person, a kind person, and to be neat and clean
Beautiful.
💯 agree. This is also why in Secrets of Blue Zone, beyond diet and importance of moving, purpose and being part of a community was one key factor.
Great post. Wish I came across this message 20 years earlier.
"Because the world is constantly telling you who you should be, distracting you from who you are."
Only now at 51, I've managed to break this conditioning.
That’s sooner than most people ;)
Wow. Great, really thought provoking piece. I suspect I need to read this a few times to try to fully grasp it, but thank you once again for getting us out of our comfort zones and getting us to think about the really important stuff.
I've reading about this stuff for over 20 years and feel I am almost starting to get a grasp of being at the start... I think it's a process but thats the fun part.
Thank you for this article, and for all your posts. I find it interesting you and I have reached a similar conclusion through what appears to be very different pathways. Best wishes to you and yours.
Many thanks Tony. I am glad you find the posts useful.
During my working years, there was never enough time to read, though I probably read more than others. When I wrote down retirement goals, reading was at the top. Now I am retired, and it’s the same. I spend much more time reading, my chiefest joy (other than my adult son). But it’s still not enough time. So many books, so little time. As I look into the future
I do see writing as a potential sideshow.
Thanks for a clear reminder of the importance of becoming.
The reading issue is real. There will never be enough time. I used to always stick a book out until the end but not any more. There are just too many good books and not enough time.
So it’s not just me...
I'm not exactly sure what i'm doing with my life. I do know that I love exercise. I love treadmill sprinting and I wish everyone would do it. Since I know most will not, I want to look into something else. It's heartbreaking to see dads in their forties dying from heart disease. So i'm looking into advanced pacemakers or some new device. A new device that is like a "Neuralink" for the heart. Something that mimics the effects of exercise. My view is that we should supercharge average people, so that heart disease is a thing of the past. Maybe we don't always have to fix people when they are broken. Why not start way sooner? Moderate-risk people. Take the average "moderate-risk" person and turn their heart/lungs into that of an elite endurance athlete. Maybe it sounds science fiction, but why not try? We all know Neuralink is coming. Why not do something for the cardio and respiratory systems?
I think we can make a huge difference even within the constraints of our current technologies. No doubt the future will hold amazing potential but we have some much room for improvement even now. Exciting times.
Thank you for this article Paddy. I have been on this journey for a few years now and truly believe that it is a universal and core aspect of health and wellbeing.
The medical world needs to appreciate this more and find a way, with wider society, to bring this into public discourse. One of the founders of modern medicine, Rudolf Virchow himself said “medicine is a social science, and politics nothing but medicine at a larger scale”. I believe that he meant healthcare needs to look beyond the walls of our clinics and wards, to take into account the wider issues that we all face on our individual and existential journeys through life.
I am glad you found it useful. I would be cautious is putting this task in the hands of healthcare. Healthcare is amazing at the science of treating diseases but the task of your purpose and meaning is something we must all navigate with lots of different resources. Healthcare is great at the lifespan and healthspan piece. Soulspan, purpose and meaning I think have their answers elsewhere. Just my thoughts.
Thanks Paddy, I definitely agree that healthcare settings are not the place to bring these discussions directly to patients, although they can sometimes emerge to a degree in cases of end-of-life or complex care. Such discussions require sensitivity, skill, and time.
There are some potential areas for development however such as social prescribing, knowledge around health behaviour and the teaching of health ethics. In addition measures of societal health tend to focus on financial parameters and public discourse around wellbeing usually follows this. It was interesting for me to observe the widespread but transient period of 'soul searching' that was triggered by the onset of the covid pandemic.
I'm probably starting to move off-topic here so I'll leave it at that. Just to say many thanks again for your brilliant articles which are always thought-provoking.
Appreciate you following along. Paddy