The New Year’s Resolution Trap: Why We Set Ourselves Up for Failure
It’s not just willpower—here’s what you’re missing.
“New Year. New You.”
I believe that most people often misunderstand this phrase, and it costs them dearly.
Every January, people set out their New Year resolutions.
The data shows that most of these resolutions will be health-related, and about 88% of people will have already failed within the first two weeks1.
If ‘Setting New Years Resolutions’ were a drug it would never be approved.
And rightly so.
It as this point, most articles drift off into the unhelpful pablum of:
Make the goals simple.
Do it with a friend.
Make it enjoyable.
Sure.
These are all directionally helpful and sound nice, but they will not be the key reason people successfully hit their New Year goals.
The reason, I believe, relates to the phrase “New Year. New You.”
Most people read this phrase as such:
“If I just DO the things I said I would do, like cutting out sugar or losing weight, I will BE better off in a few months. “
Better ‘actions’.
Lead to:
Better ‘You’.
I think we have this backwards.
I do not think this is enough for people to hit their goals.
For people to hit their goals, the ‘New You’ needs to begin right at the very start.
It's not something that happens at the end.
In truth, the phrase should be.
“New You. New Year.”
In my own personal health transformations, I had to completely change my identity around ‘who’ I was to hit my goals.
I did not exercise daily for a month to become someone who exercises.
I became a person who ‘exercised every day’ and, as a consequence, started exercising every day.
See the difference.
The key distinction here is you have to ‘become’ the identity first.
Rather than ‘doing something’ for a period of time before you earn that title.
You have to start with the title or the identity.
Will Power Is Not Enough.
Will power will eventually fail.
It is finite.
For most people, it fails within the first two weeks, just like the evidence shows.
But for those who succeed, I suspect what first changes is their identity, not their actions.
If running is the goal, you must first become ‘a person who runs’.
It is an identity change that most people need.
Not a habit change.
The habit will follow the identity.
This Is Not Just For New Years.
If this challenge were just an issue related to New Year's resolutions, this problem would not be such an issue.
But it is a much bigger issue than just failed New Year’s resolutions.
It sits right at the very bottom of health, longevity and well-being.
Most People Know What They Need To Do But Just Don’t Do It.
We all know what we need to do to be ‘healthy’.
The problem is we usually don’t do it.
When it comes to longevity and delaying the onset of major chronic diseases, we know that hitting specific targets around exercise, nutrition, sleep, and stress management can add 10 to 14 years to your life2.
The data are crystal clear on this.
And yet. And yet.
Why?
Because what is missing is the ability to change.
Not the knowledge about ‘what’ needs to change.
We know the answers.
We just lack the tools to implement them.
We lack the ability to change our behaviour.
But our behaviour is determined by our identity.
My Running Story.
When I was in college, I ‘went for a run’ about five times in total.
I hated it.
Every time I tried to take it up as a habit, I failed miserably.
Now, I exercise almost every single day.
What changed?
It wasn’t that I just ‘stuck to it’ and became a runner.
What changed was my identity related to being a runner.
When I was in college, every time I thought about going for a run, it was a big cognitive effort, and I was very good at convincing myself not to go.
“If I can just go for a run most days this month, I will ‘be a runner’. “
Every time I did go, I had to ‘will’ myself out the door.
It wasn’t until I changed my identity to someone who ‘Is A Runner’ that everything changed.
This is the key to health, in my view.
You know what it means to be healthy.
You know what your goals are.
You know the activities you want to improve.
You have probably also tried to make changes in these areas before and have been unsuccessful.
You may already have given up on the New Year’s resolution you made just over a week ago.
But I believe that making these changes is possible.
It starts with changing your identity.
Not your habits.
The habit changes will follow.
Whatever your goal for the New Year is, try not to ‘stick to it’.
Instead, reinforce in your mind that you are a person who already does the thing you are aiming to do.
This will be further reinforced by doing the activity.
Now, your identity is being solidified.
Not doing the activity would be out of alignment with ‘who you are’.
This newsletter has primarily covered the “things" people need to do to hit their health goals, both physically and emotionally.
But more and more, I realise that our biggest challenge lies in changing our behaviour.
The ‘How’ we change our behaviours and actions that lead to those ‘things’ changing.
And that is where I plan to focus more of my efforts this year.
Because that is where the real progress is made.
So here’s to 2025.
To a ‘New You’ at the beginning of the ‘New Year’.
Not somewhere down the line.
In Case You Missed Them:
https://www.bcm.edu/news/new-years-resolutions-why-do-we-give-up-on-them-so-quickly
Impact of Healthy Lifestyle Factors on Life Expectancies in the US Population. Volume 138, Issue 4, 24 July 2018;, Pages 345-355
For many goals, I think abstinence is far easier than moderation because it fosters a change in identity. If you just cut back on cigarettes to occasions where you have a drink with friends, it’s easy to backslide into more smoking. But if you identify as a non-smoker, it’s easier because you never have to make a decision about when to smoke.